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Sunday
      
A great article on this is by Rachel Watkins called Gift
at Mass. The ideas are universal to any parents trying to improve
behavior & participation at any Christian church.
Sunday is a nice, easy-going, relaxing, fun day for us. We've felt
convicted to find what "day of rest" means for our souls and our
family.
 | We've decided on these items together as a couple. O.K., the
truth is we fought about them for years until we came to some amicable
compromises. Since we both agree, we are able to hold each other
accountable to what we've agreed upon. |
| We try to stay together as a family - so I don't go off shopping by myself
and Dave doesn't work on the computer unless we've spent the majority of the
day with the family. |
| We often visit family or friends or spend the day doing fun, although
usually non-strenuous activities. |
| We don't do any housework except picking up our own messes. To do
that I try and clean the house (so it's not trashed) on Saturday. |
| We rarely watch TV and if we do, it would be at the end of the day movie
the entire family would watch together. |
| We can do "work", but it should usually involve the whole family
and it can't make one of us (usually a parent) so tired or frustrated that
they can't be nice or have fun with the rest of the family.
 | For example, my husband can garden for enjoyment involving all the
kids in a fun way. If I gardened, I'd be yelling at the kids about
stepping on plants, stressing, sweating, and totally frustrated by the
end - so I don't garden on Sundays. |
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We keep our kids in church with us starting as babies. My husband calls
it "The walk of shame" when you have to take a screaming
baby/toddler/kid out and walk in front of everyone as you go. We feel it
is the cost of having our children watch us worship and learn from our modeling
how important it is.
- We sit in the front row to keep them engaged with what's going on.
We really take seriously that whole "Let the little children come unto
me" phrase.
- We talk to the priests often after Mass and have them over for dinner at
least once a year. Some priests have told us that they rarely get
invited to homes with young children. It may be that people feel
intimated by the effort involved in cleaning and cooking. When the day
has gone bad, we've had the priests coming and ordered pizza. They
don't care about the food, but about us. Our children treasure these
evenings and feel a special affinity (and accountability) to their spiritual
leaders.
- We allow babies & toddlers to have small, soft items to hold
their attention. (i.e. quiet items that when thrown at the alter or dropped
in the pew don't make so much of a commotion)
- We have a rule that is everyone must whisper if they MUST talk in church,
and it is preferable not to say anything.
- We use a modified sign language to facilitate the no talking.
- We point out familiar items around the church to engage our preschoolers.
Items that aren't familiar to them, we take them on a "church
walk" after the service and name them and discuss them.
- We cut items they would see at church out of felt and allow them to
"play church".
- We also have a child's Mass kit (that we assembled from Salvation Army
& various sources - one of the ABSOLUTE BEST being Our
Father's House. Their Mass
Kit is wonderfully complete. We couldn't quite afford it,
so I bought items from Our
Father's House we couldn't find anywhere else and pieced the rest
together.
- We try and go over the readings the children will hear before Mass and try
to personalize it so the homily isn't over the kids heads. The best
resource I've found is Open
Wednesdays to help us prepare the kids for the Sunday readings.
She has children's reflections, activities, crafts & a coloring page for
each Sunday. It's FANTASTIC!
- We do use bribes. We usually go out for donuts or to someone's house
after church. If a child is naughty during church, they miss out on
what everyone else is doing. For example, we may go to donuts, but the
child that needs to learn the importance of proper behavior would have to
watch everyone else eat and they can have a peanut-butter sandwich when we
got home. If the child would throw a fit in the donut shop, we'd take
them home and eat them, while that child got none. We all want to be
together in heaven and if one of our children isn't taught obedience, they
may, someday jeopardize their place in heaven. We know people who are
drug addicts and people who can't say no to their own desires - those are
the saddest, most wounded people we know. This is no small matter to
Dave & I. We want our children to know that their relationship
with Christ and their subsequent actions are of the utmost importance in our
lives.
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| SIT (my left hand in a fist and right palm laid on top of the thumb-side
of the fist covering the whole top of the left hand) |
| RIGHT NOW (my palms facing up with my fingers pointing tword the sky, 90
degree angle-ish, then throwing my fingers to lay open with the palms) |
| SHHH (you know this one) |
| TURN AROUND (my right pointer finger pointing down and turning circles
like a top) |
| EYES ON THE ALTER (right pointer finger laid aside of my right eye, then
pointing forward toward the alter) |
| THAT'S ENOUGH or STOP (my right pointer finger pointing straight out and
drawing a line in the air to the right) |
| FOLD YOUR HANDS (I fold mine and sort of push my folded hands tword them
like I'm putting my hands in front of their body) |
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